Scorpling's Gift
by AkatsukiRedCloud
Summary: Short one-shot in celebration of Sasori's Birthday! Deidara figures that his sarcastic room mate, Sasori, could do with some enlightenment on his Birthday; but will Deidara really be able to withstand the red-head's venomous behaviour and rude comments? Rated T for language and OOCness. Yaoi, SasoDei. Please review!


_**Happy Birthday Saso-baby~ **_

_**I need to start writing some stuff^^" Like, updates and such. Regarding "Proclaimed Innocence", I'm revising its current plan and adding to it in order to make it more interesting and give it a more meaningful plot. You've all been so patient, and I'm sorry for letting you all down so much!**_

_**But on the bright side, here's a 'lil one-shot for our 'lil Sassy! :3**_

_**I hope you enjoy, please review~**_

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><p>The life I lead was what you would call a difficult one. Although I was hard-working and often very determined, I still found it hard to keep a job without pissing off my co-workers or boss. Due to this, I commonly found myself being unemployed and having nothing to do whilst festering in the apartment which I shared with my flat-mate, Sasori.<p>

Sasori was hard to describe. At first, one would consider him to be an introvert, however after being able to withstand his presence for a few hours, he'd simply be described as grumpy, sarcastic, blunt and rude. The male's looks completely deceived him, consisting of innocent features such as porcelain skin and a baby-face. His fluffy red hair and small build only added more to this effect, much to the surprise of people who had just met the red-head.

Quite frankly, very few people could stand Sasori. In all truth, the red-head couldn't have a conversation with someone without seriously insulting them. Thankfully, I had come from a pretty rough background, so I was used to being insulted.

Although to me, Sasori and I were complete opposites, many people would argue and insist that we were very similar, which would probably be one of the reasons why we didn't particularly get along. Though Sasori didn't get along with anyone, and the red-head could never admit that I was genuinely the closest thing he had to a friend.

In all truth, I seriously pitied Sasori. You see, he broke off contact with his grandmother a long time ago, and one day she decided to pay a surprise visit. At that time the red-head was at work, so I was the one to answer the door, being told by the woman that she was the only family Sasori had left, yet he refused to make any contact with her. I had invited the woman in, hearing more about the red-head's past, learning that he had become an orphan at a very young age and broke contact with most of society, which would explain the reason why he was so antisocial.

I found out this information exactly a year ago, which I learned to be Sasori's birthday. His grandmother, Chiyo, had made the surprise visit to wish him a happy birthday, only to leave before Sasori actually returned, telling me to not even mentioned her arrival. As he was working late, I never actually got to wish the red-head a Happy Birthday.

From that very day, I vowed to give Sasori a birthday the following year.

That of course, leading to this very day.

I got up extra early on that Saturday, which was one of Sasori's few days off. This would make setting up everything pretty easy, as the red-head pretty much went into sloth-mode on the days he had no work, commonly sleeping in till late afternoons. Of course, this would mean waking the red-head and possibly being murdered, but surely he would be grateful that I went to all the trouble of planning his birthday?

The previous night, I had went to all the trouble of preparing Sasori a Birthday cake. Although I was a very creative person, culinary skills simply weren't in my genes, but I still tried my best. All in all, the cake looked pretty good for my standards, and after having a small bit, I decided that it even tasted good! Of course, I wouldn't even dream of entering Sasori's room without a weapon, so I made sure to prepare the male a cup of coffee and placing both that and the cake on a nice little tray, complimented with a card and a single candle. To tell the truth, I had no idea how old Sasori was. Though judging by his young appearance but ability to pay rent and such, he was in his early twenties, like me.

Carrying the tray to the red-head's room after lighting the candle, I put on my best smile, gently knocking on the door before entering the spotless room. Although he was a sloth, Sasori liked his things in order, which was clearly a form of OCD judging by the fact that the first thing he did on a Sunday after waking up was to inspect the DVD shelf to make sure they were all in alphabetical order.

An immediate growl came into contact with my ears as soon as I opened the door, despite the male being fast asleep. Smiling sheepishly, I placed the tray on the red-head's bedside-cabinet, unfolding the black-out blinds which Sasori loved so much, letting the rays of winter sun enter the room.

Sasori immediately sat up in an almost robotic way, his tired and dark eyes glaring through my skin.

"H-Happy Birthday, un?" I grinned, making my way over to the side of the male's bed.  
>"Give me strength to not fuck a bitch up..." Was the red-head's ever-blunt and frightening reply, his eye twitching in an almost psychotic manner.<p>

And that, kids, is why you should never wake up a Slothori.

"Happy Birthday...!" I repeated again, nodding my head towards the cake and coffee, along with the glazing candle.  
>"What do you call this?" He growled, nodding his head towards the tray. "What is this shit?"<br>"Well, it's your Birthday." I answered, trying to maintain my smile without having the need to strangle the red-head. "I thought I'd do something nice for you."

Not receiving a reply, I watched plainly as Sasori grumbled to himself, slowly sitting up and reaching for the coffee, almost immediately taking a sip. You know not to trust those people who take immediate sips from piping-hot drinks without even flinching, and the fact that Sasori was one of those made that statement even more accurate.

"So, are you excited?" I smiled, sitting at the end of the bed. "I thought I'd surprise you, un."  
>"You shut the fuck up until I've had at least one cup of coffee."<p>

Blinking and looking down at my lap, I waited patiently for the red-head to finish his valued coffee, staring at the home-made cake.  
>"What about your cake?" I asked with a slightly frown. "Aren't you going to try it?"<br>"A cake?" The red-head replied in confusion, staring at the tray. "So that's what it was. Sorry, I thought it was a pile of sand."

You see, that's exactly what I meant when I said Sasori was sarcastic and mean to everyone. The red-head was lucky that I was such an understanding room-mate, otherwise he'd be left alone for some time.

""Don't you want to know how I found out it's your birthday, un?"  
>"As long as you're not an obsessed stalker, I don't actually care."<br>"Well, maybe I am an obsessed stalker." I smirked, shifting closer to the red-head. "Maybe I'm the biggest stalker of them all."

Sasori quirked an eyebrow, staring at my with amused eyes as he took another sip of his coffee.  
>"Simmer down, slut."<br>"Hey." I piped up, pouting slightly. "I'm no slut."

The red-head simply smirked, looking away in an almost teasing manner. This was probably the most active you would witness the Sasori in his natural habitat.

"Some of our friends will be coming over later to wish you a Happy Birthday." I brought up, stretching my hands. "I hope you don't mind that." Of course, "some" meaning Pain and Konan, and "our" meaning mine. I wanted the red-head to think he wasn't entirely alone; sometimes even a Sasori wanted some attention.

"Awh, no." The red-head frowned, holding his thumb down. "They better bring gifts. Where's your gift for me, anyway?"  
>"You'll get that later. Why don't you blow out your Birthday candle and make a wish?"<br>"Deidara, I'm not two."  
>"It's tradition, Danna."<br>"Whatever, fine, bring it over here."

Letting out a sigh, I picked up the tray which was literally next to the red-head, holding it under his head.  
>"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to yo-<br>"Yeah, stop that, that's not neces-  
>"Happy Birthday <em>dear Sasori<em>, Happy Birthday to you!"

Glaring at me for a short second, the red-head turned his head towards the candle, blowing it out shortly. Smirking triumphantly as if he had blown down a house, the red-head was surprised to find the candle light itself back up.  
>"What is this witchcraft?" He gasped, admiring the fire with a weak glare. I couldn't help but smirk, watching the scene.<br>"Try blow it out again, un."

The red-head did just that, smirking that lazy smirk again, only to once again be interrupted by the candle flickering back on.  
>"Brat, make it stop."<br>"Christ Sasori, you never heard of a magic candle before?"  
>"I haven't celebrated my Birthday in twenty-seven years, do you honestly think I know what a magic fucking candle is?"<p>

Blinking, I stared at the red-head in shock. Did this mean he was twenty-seven? He looked far younger. But no, if he had never celebrated his Birthday, then why would the red-head's Grandmother visit to wish him a Happy Birthday?

"...Sasori, just how old are you?"

Sasori paused for a moment, as if to try and remember his age.

"I believe this would make me thirty-five." Was his simple reply, after counting a few digits on his slender fingers.

And to think I had a huge crush on that thing.

"Y-You're what, un?" I let out, my eyes almost popping out from their sockets. "You can't be!"  
>"Oh, trust me, I can be."<br>"But you look so...!"  
>"Fabulous?" The red-head smirked, running a hand through his locks. "Sexy? Sleek? Irresistible?"<p>

"...Baby-faced!"

Sasori's expression changed to a sour one, and he huffed, returning to the candle which was still lit.  
>"I wish I was ripped." He growled, blowing out the candle before snapping it in half.<br>"...You're not meant to share your wish."  
>"Fuck the system."<p>

"Well, when it gets late I want you to make a wish upon a star then." I announced, staring at the red-head. "Make a wish upon a star, Danna..."  
>"I always make a wish upon a star, it never works."<br>"Oh?"  
>"Yeah, you're still here."<p>

I sighed harshly, now glaring at the red-head. "Why're you such an unhappy person? We've all got reasons to be unhappy, so quit acting so damn upset all the time."  
>"Hey, I am a happy and positive person. And fuck you if you don't like it."<br>"You see, this is what I mean!" I cried, staring into the male's caramel-coloured eyes. "Can you not say anything without insulting anyone? If you don't have anything nice to say, then keep it to yourself."  
>"And that was the day I became a mute."<p>

"See, you're doing it again, un!" I frowned, leaning closer to the red-head. "You never speak with any tone, you just insult people with your sarcasm! Do you know any form of languages apart from that? Can't you at least try to be happy? What do you dream of, Sasori?"  
>"I dream of naps." He replied plainly, blinking.<p>

I let out a cry of frustration, earning an immediate frown from Sasori as I covered my face with my hands.  
>"Oi, Dei." He called, crawling over to my sulking form. "What're you doing?"<p>

I flinched as the slender male poked me, nudging me with his shoulder a few times. "Now look who's grumpy."

And at that moment, I absolutely lost it, rapidly turning my head and colliding mine and Sasori's lips together. Unfortunately, the male was closer than I had imagined, and our teeth harshly slammed against each other, causing us both an equal amount of pain. We both let out loud wails at the same time, falling backwards.

"You've knocked out my teeth, how could you?" The red-head cried, clutching his jaw.  
>"Did I fuck, un!" I replied, gritting my teeth together. "They're still there!"<br>"They don't feel like it!"  
>"Well I can see them!"<br>"How do I know you're not lying?"  
>"I don't know, un!"<br>"Want to try that again?"  
>"Sure!"<p>

Sasori quickly sat up, leaning over my form in a concentrating manner. Staring at my lips as if they were some kind of impossible puzzle.  
>"Have you never kissed anyone, Danna?" I smirked, puckering my lips in a mocking manner. "Looks like you're getting another present, un."<br>"Don't be so cocky, I'll have you know I've been saving my first kiss to be graced upon that one lucky person, but it looks like you'll have to do."  
>"That's cruel, Danna." I grinned, leaning my head up and pulling the red-head into a gentle kiss, our lips connecting without the unsatisfying sound of clinking teeth coming into contact with my ears.<p>

"I love you, Sasori." I smiled gently after pulling away, stroking the male's hair.  
>""I love you too..." The red-head replied with a small smile. "Even though you're a massive queer."<p>

I chuckled lightly, shaking my head. "Happy Birthday, un."  
>"Yep, Here's a happy remembering the day I was expelled from a uterus."<p>

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><p>"So, what have you guys been up to today?" Konan smiled pleasantly, staring directly at me and Sasori whilst her boyfriend, Pain, was trying to work out how to hack into my Netflix account. "Anything exiting happen?"<p>

"Well," Sasori began, taking a sip from his coffee. "At some point our bromance took a sharp turn into Gayville."

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><p><strong><em>Sorry this didn't have a lot of plot, I just wanted a grumpy and sarcastic Saso : DDDDD<em>**

**_I hope you enjoyed~ :3_**

**_Please review^^_**


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